Text Message Jokes

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?" LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
I pretend to work here -
they pretend to pay me...
When you ask a housewife, accountant, and lawyer what 2+2 is, what do they give you?
The housewife says "Four." The accountant says "It's either three or four, let me run it through my spreadsheet again." The lawyer closes the shutters, turns down the lights, and whispers "What do you want it to be?

A Couple went 4 divorce, Judge asked the reason !
Girl: Sir I wanted This ====>
At least this ===>
But What is This ==>
Boy: Sir. I Wanted this ()
At least this ( )!(
But What Is This (   )....!
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think
of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because
I am hungry.
Someday u may lose ur hair. u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But
1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks. coz u cant lose whatt u don't have!

ku kata ka ka ku
ku ke ki ki ka ga
ga gi gu kaka ki
ki ki ka
Congratulations!
U have successfully learnt the monkey's language.
Come to Collect ur banana.

Earth may stop Rotating,
Birds may stop Flying,
Candles may stop Melting,
Fishes may stop Swimming,
Heart may stop Beating,
But your Brain will
never start working!
If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat