RSS Feed (xml)Classic Definitions
- Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
- Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
- Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
- Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
- Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either".
- Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
- Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
- Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.
- Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
- Conference room: A place where nobody talks, nobody listens everybody disagrees later on.
- Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
- Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read.
- Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
- Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
- Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
- Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
- Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
- Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
- Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
- Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
- Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
- Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
- Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet"
- Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
- Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
- Father: A banker provided by nature.
- Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
- Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
- Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
- Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
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KAHTEY HAIN AURAT KEY HAATH MAIN BERKAT HOTI HAI...
BILKUL SAHI HAI ;;;;;;;;
3INCH KA HAATH MAIN DO 8 INCH KA KERKE DETI HAI.......
BHAJJI TO HIS WIFE 1ST NIGHT 'ARE YOU VIRGIN'
SHE REPLIED: KIYA KABHI SPINNER KO NAYI BALL MILTI HAI KIYA ?
MAN: SANTREYE SAMBHALIYE MA'M THEY DISTURB ME
ANGRLY SHE REPLIED:TUMKO KIYA? SANTREYE MEREYE HAI
MAN: HAAN PER JUICE MERA NIKAL RAHA HAI NA
WAQAT NAHI AB RONEY KA
WAQAT HAI BACHCHA HONEY KA
TAB KIYOUN NAHI ROYEI THI
JAB CHEEPAK CHEEPAK KEY SOEI THI
JAB KIYA HAI TO BHARO
TAB KAHETI THI AUR KARO AUR KARO
LADKI EK AISI PAHELI HAI
KABHI TERI TO KABHI MERI SAHELI HAI
KHERCHA KARE TO BOLE DARLING HOW RU
NA KARO TO BOLE 'BROTHER'WHO RU
A boy after finished pocket money, wrote a letter to his father,
No money,
No fun,
Your son……………..,
Father also instead of sending money, sent a piece of paper, which read.
How sad,
Very bad,
Your dad…………….,
A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
Wifr was Beating Husbend. a neighbour asked ;; kiyoun mar rahi ho ?wife: inko call kiya to 1 ladki boli, "The person you are trying to Reach is currently Busy"
once the saradrji read at gal's t-shirt 'HANDLE WITH CARE'.
nxt day sardarji wear a jeans written at front 'CANDLE WITH HAIR'.
Ek baar Teacher apni XXXXX pehenna bhol jaati hai , aur school aa jati hai,clXXXXX main uske blouse ke 2 hook khol jaate hai,,,,,,
yeh dekh kar santa aur banta hasne lagte hai,,,,teacher kehti hai,,,hasna band karo nahi to dono ko bahaar nikaal dongi......
Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive!
In interview, one officer asked Sardar: Which is your birth place?
Sardar: Punjab
Officer: Which part in Punjab.
Sardar: No part -part, my whole body in Punjab only.
santa- I tried ur number many times it said Switched Off.
banta - It's my hello tune yar
One day Sardarji was travelling with his wife in the train. They got seats in the last compartment. When the train reached to the plateform, their compartment was reaching either in the last corner of the plateform or outside of the plateform. Sardarji's wife was very much annoyed because she was not getting refreshment. She told Sardarji why you are travelling in such a train where I am not getting tea, coffee, cold drink and snakes.
When the destination point came, Sardarji contacted TT and requested him to give complaint book. TT asked the difficulty faced by him and requested if you tell me the problem, he will try to solve the problem without writing complaint. But Sardarji was insisting for the complaint book. Then TT gave complaint book to Sardarji.
Sardarji wrote in complaint book that there should be no last compartment in the train. If it requires, it should be in the middle of the train.
Hindi teacher asks a sardar : Kaal k kitne prakar hote hi?
Sardar : 7 prakar k
Local kaal,STD kaal,ISD kaal,Missed Kaal,Recieved kaal,Dialed kaal & Sasriya kaal
One Sardar looking at a ice cube in sunlight from 1hr,
someone asked him what r u looking....?
Sardar replied : Im checking from where water is leaking in the ice...
KAHTEY HAIN AURAT KEY HAATH MAIN BERKAT HOTI HAI...
BILKUL SAHI HAI ;;;;;;;;
3INCH KA HAATH MAIN DO 8 INCH KA KERKE DETI HAI.......
BHAJJI TO HIS WIFE 1ST NIGHT 'ARE YOU VIRGIN'
SHE REPLIED: KIYA KABHI SPINNER KO NAYI BALL MILTI HAI KIYA ?
MAN: SANTREYE SAMBHALIYE MA'M THEY DISTURB ME
ANGRLY SHE REPLIED:TUMKO KIYA? SANTREYE MEREYE HAI
MAN: HAAN PER JUICE MERA NIKAL RAHA HAI NA
WAQAT NAHI AB RONEY KA
WAQAT HAI BACHCHA HONEY KA
TAB KIYOUN NAHI ROYEI THI
JAB CHEEPAK CHEEPAK KEY SOEI THI
JAB KIYA HAI TO BHARO
TAB KAHETI THI AUR KARO AUR KARO
LADKI EK AISI PAHELI HAI
KABHI TERI TO KABHI MERI SAHELI HAI
KHERCHA KARE TO BOLE DARLING HOW RU
NA KARO TO BOLE 'BROTHER'WHO RU
A boy after finished pocket money, wrote a letter to his father,
No money,
No fun,
Your son……………..,
Father also instead of sending money, sent a piece of paper, which read.
How sad,
Very bad,
Your dad…………….,
A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
Wifr was Beating Husbend. a neighbour asked ;; kiyoun mar rahi ho ?wife: inko call kiya to 1 ladki boli, "The person you are trying to Reach is currently Busy"
once the saradrji read at gal's t-shirt 'HANDLE WITH CARE'.
nxt day sardarji wear a jeans written at front 'CANDLE WITH HAIR'.
Ek baar Teacher apni XXXXX pehenna bhol jaati hai , aur school aa jati hai,clXXXXX main uske blouse ke 2 hook khol jaate hai,,,,,,
yeh dekh kar santa aur banta hasne lagte hai,,,,teacher kehti hai,,,hasna band karo nahi to dono ko bahaar nikaal dongi......
Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive!
In interview, one officer asked Sardar: Which is your birth place?
Sardar: Punjab
Officer: Which part in Punjab.
Sardar: No part -part, my whole body in Punjab only.
santa- I tried ur number many times it said Switched Off.
banta - It's my hello tune yar
One day Sardarji was travelling with his wife in the train. They got seats in the last compartment. When the train reached to the plateform, their compartment was reaching either in the last corner of the plateform or outside of the plateform. Sardarji's wife was very much annoyed because she was not getting refreshment. She told Sardarji why you are travelling in such a train where I am not getting tea, coffee, cold drink and snakes.
When the destination point came, Sardarji contacted TT and requested him to give complaint book. TT asked the difficulty faced by him and requested if you tell me the problem, he will try to solve the problem without writing complaint. But Sardarji was insisting for the complaint book. Then TT gave complaint book to Sardarji.
Sardarji wrote in complaint book that there should be no last compartment in the train. If it requires, it should be in the middle of the train.
Hindi teacher asks a sardar : Kaal k kitne prakar hote hi?
Sardar : 7 prakar k
Local kaal,STD kaal,ISD kaal,Missed Kaal,Recieved kaal,Dialed kaal & Sasriya kaal
One Sardar looking at a ice cube in sunlight from 1hr,
someone asked him what r u looking....?
Sardar replied : Im checking from where water is leaking in the ice...
Adult
Teacher comes to class with a rose in her blouse and asks: What does Roses drink? Boy: Milk Teacher: No, roses drink water. Boy: Oh, I didnt know the stem is that long.
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
Of all the babes u r my selection please dont give me a rejection. my teeth are clean for ur Inspection so give my mouth a tongue injection!
Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk and misbehav,on weed+speed +little es,well get drunk and talk 2 trees,u only live once and den u die,so fuck em all and lets get high!...
School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!
You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. 'Honey, I am home!'
Do u know Who is the best goalkeeper in this world ? ANSWER: WOMEN, no matter how much and which way u fuck her, ur balls will never go in.
who is stronger man or woman? Anser? A woman coz she lifts two mountain on her chest while man lifts his crane with the help of 2 stones.
A couple went 4 honey moon 4 a week. After returning husband asked: 'How was da whole week?' Wife said: 'The whole week made my hole weak...'
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen
While at the college Sardar happened to watch the notice board. It reads: Invites suggestions for the modification of Ladies Room. Sardar writes under - Let the men Permit to Enter
There are Tulips in my garden,there are Tulips in the park.but nothing is more be beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark!..
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good..
He came at night, explored my body, got on top of me, touched me, he bit, sucked, swalowd, when he was satisfyed, he left, i was hurt, . . . BLOODY
What is the similarity between a college girl and a pregnant woman...............? . . . . . . . . . . Both bunks period.......
BRIDE'S Dad hands a note to the groom, 'GOODS delivered are not returnable! GROOM gave another note back to father, 'contract void if seal is broken!
Hey let's go fuck and do the talking later...
Woman complaining to dentist: I'd rather get pregnant than have a tooth filling!' Dentist: 'ok, decide from now so i can adjust the chair accordingly'
This is a cock sucker detector Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning.... The test was positive 90percent sperm breath... COCK SUCKER !!
On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
WHAT IS THE SEX The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population
Teacher comes to class with a rose in her blouse and asks: What does Roses drink? Boy: Milk Teacher: No, roses drink water. Boy: Oh, I didn't know the stem is that long.
When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And apon my headstone will be seen, here liies the bones of a fucking machine.
Condom says 2 Whisper:Every month u stop my business 4 one week. Whisper says:If u make a mistake, I loose my business for 9 months..!
Nice dress, itd look good on my bedroom floor..
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?
cat and Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster starts laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres a wet pussy!
Do you know why girls don't keep thier mobiles in shirt pocket? B'coz can't get signals near hills and mountains...
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
