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ABC's of ex girlfriends

Ais for Arteries.You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you.

Bis for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

Cis for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

Dis for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

Eis for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

Fis for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.

Gis for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.

His for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.

Istands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.

Jstands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.

Kstands for Kill.

Lis for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.

Lis also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.

Mstands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.

Nstands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?

Ois for On top. When on top she has another O word.

Pis for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.

Qis for Quitter. She couldn't last.

Ris for Rich little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it.

Sstands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.

Tis for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.

Uis for Understatement. Saying you hate that bitch is an understatement.

Vis for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place.

Wstands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

Xis for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.

Ystands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.

Zstands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"

.stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.

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