Rahul-Dimpy: The Real Story

Here are 3 questions which have left me flummoxed:

1. Rahul Mahajan obviously has a personality disorder. Why isn’t he under treatment/counseling?
2. Why would any girl want to marry him, on national TV or otherwise?
3. Why do we succumb to reality shows which propagate illusions in the name of reality?

Snapshots from an unreal wedding

Eerily, the reality of the Rahul-Dimpy wedding is being played out now with half truths, failed expectations, abuse and violence. Sadly, most of us are still hung up on the voyeurism of seeing another hi-visibility (I refuse to call Rahul Mahajan or his bride celebrities) wedding hit rock bottom.  We are ready to turn a blind eye and deaf ear to the reality of domestic violence. The same was alleged by Rahul Mahajan’s first wife, Shweta Singh before their divorce in 2008.
Back to question 1 – why isn’t Rahul Mahajan in therapy?  “Rahul Mahajan has to work on himself and he should be wise enough to seek help since this is repeat behaviour. His first marriage fell through on the same grounds. Different approaches work for different people – some seek therapy which is structured and systematic, some turn to friends and relatives, others to religion or self-help,” explains Dr Kamal Khurana, a relationship management expert to whom I posed the question.
Second, the foundation of a reality wedding on TV sounds like a call to disaster. There can be nothing real about it barring the very real self-aggrandizement of two individuals. This could be the answer to question no. 2 above, WHY would a girl want to marry Rahul Mahajan. Unlikely then that a couple bonded by narcissism can begin to live a real marriage after the cameras stopped filming the wedding.
“There is a fundamental difference between a wedding and a marriage. A marriage starts after the wedding. The success of any marriage (arranged, love, celebrity) depends on how prepared a couple are to enter into a partnership. The kind of wedding doesn’t make a difference. The wedding can be as elaborate or simple, cosmopolitan or religious as the couple and their family want it to be. It’s the preparedness for the marriage that’s key.  In marriage a couple unite to create joy and grow in life,” says Dr Khurana.
After walking out of Rahul Mahajan’s home on Thursday and showing her bruised body, and swollen face to the media, Dimpy is ready to reconcile.
Rahul and Dimpy come together in public, visit temple
On Thursday, Dimpy had vowed never to return to Rahul. We’ve also read that her father and Rahul’s mother played mediator. Here’s more reality rampant in our society. Read this:
My father was taking Rahul’s side: Dimpy

A family of extremely modest means, the Gangulys had played their parts during her closely followed reality TV marriage. They had taken a leap of faith once, but seemed to fight shy of doing it again.
They wanted her to go back to Rahul Mahajan, the man they believed truly, madly, deeply, loved her.
A man, who could afford her the life and the luxuries they had always wished for their daughter. “Or else why would Rahul send her business class tickets to return to Mumbai every time she came here for her exams?” questioned Dimpy’s concerned uncle, who lives in the same house as her family in north Kolkata.

Isn’t this what happens to so many young women around the country? Pushed to be subservient and accept what life has in store for them. How many times have we read reports of young women taking extreme steps since no one wanted to stand up for them, stand by them? At 22 to Rahul’s 36, Dimpy would be mesmerised by her hi-profile TV husband. She would have thought he would be the ticket to her fame, the ladder to her success. I am not suggesting she walked into it with her eyes closed. No. But she would not have bargained for the disproportionate expectations from this marriage. Expectations of being married to a someone in desperate need of public salvation. The hi-visibility, Dr Khurana tells me, belongs to the outside make-believe world. In the marriage, Rahul and Dimpy are equal partners.
While nothing can assuage physical abuse, Dr Khurana tells me, “Look at how Dimpy is contributing to the marriage. Do we know that? Sudden fame leads to adjustment issues,” he says.
The reality show for Rahul and Dimpy began after their wedding.  This is one reality show we can’t brush aside.