School SMS Jokes

☻A kid gets zero in a paper

Father angrily asks,

“Wats this?”

Kid : Teacher dint have more stars to give, so she started giving MOONS..


☻Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!

☻TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile?”
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

☻When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!

☻TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !


☻Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they're all in HIGH School!

☻TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !

☻TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !

☻LKG Boy on Phone : My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today

☻Teacher : Who is on the line ?

Boy : This is my father speaking..


☻Why did Ravi take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept!


☻Why was the students report card all wet?
Because it was below C ( sea ) level.


☻Who should be your best friend at school?
Your princi-pal!


☻TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!

☻Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!


☻If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!

☻Teacher : Isaac Newton
was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity.
Student : Right. Had he
sat in the Class, he
wouldn’t have discovered anything.

☻TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!

☻Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

☻TEACHER – Can you Tell
me 2 creatures which
Do Not have Teeth.
PAPPU – I’ll tell ma’am. Teacher – Good. Tell me.Pappu – Grandma and Grandpa. . .

☻Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon

☻TEACHER – Pappu,
You Missed School yesterday, Didn’t You.?
PAPPU – No, Not a bit Ma’am.!!

☻TEACHER: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
JOHNNY: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time.”

☻TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!

☻TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down
his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
JOHNNY: “Because George still had the ax in his hand.”

☻Where was the Declaration of Independance signed ?
At the bottom !

☻TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

☻TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is
exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

☻TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.

☻Teacher : Your son
is Very Good but
spends Too much time Thinking about Girls.
Mother : If you find
a solution, please advise.
His Father has
the Same Problem.

☻TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

☻TEACHER – What are
the people of
Turkey called.?
PAPPU – I don’t know. TEACHER – They are
called Turks.
Tell me What are people
of Germany called.?
PAPPU- Germs

☻TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
ELLEN: I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

☻Math’s Teacher: If you have
12 Chocolates and you
-
-
Give 5 to
Lela,
3 to Anita and
4 to Julia
-
-
Then what will u get????

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!



☻My nights are going sleepless,

my days are going useless.

So I asked GOD, “is this love?”.

GOD replied, “no dear, result is near

☻A sleeping lion
is stronger
than a
barking dog.
so a
sleeping
student
is better
than a
barking teacher.

☻TEACHER – Draw a
Diagram of bacteria
Sunny – Here it is sir TEACHER – Where.?
You haven’t drawn
anything.
Sunny – Sir Can You
See bacteria without
Microscope.?

☻TEACHER – Your
Chemistry exercise
was bad, I told you
to write it 20 times.
You’ve written it
only 10 times.
PAPPU – Is it ma’am.?
Guess My Maths
is also Bad.!

☻RAJU – Did you
Hear Raghu Snoring
during the morning
School Prayer.?
RAGHU – Yes, he was the
one who Woke me up.!

☻TEACHER – Where is
The English Channel.? PAPPU – I don’t know.
Our TV Channel picks up
Only Local channels.

☻TEACHER – Why were you gossiping around during
my lecture.
PAPPU – It’s impossible,
how do you expect me
to sleep and talk at
the same time.?

☻GEOGRAPHY TEACHER -
If it were possible for me
to make a hole in India
right through the earth, were would it come out.? PAPPU – At the other end, Sir.

☻BIOLOGY TEACHER -
Define a Practical Nurse.? PAPPU – A Practical Nurse
is one who
Marries a Rich Patient.

☻CHEMISTRY TEACHER -
What happens to Gold
when it is exposed to air.? PAPPU – It is probably
Stolen.!

☻PHYSICS TEACHER -
Now as you all know
the Law of Gravity
explains why we
Stay on Earth.
PAPPU – But Where
did people stay
Before the law
was passed.?

☻Teacher : Are you
Good at Math.?
Pupil : Yes and No.
Teacher : What do
you mean.?
Pupil : Yes, I’m
No Good at Math.!

☻TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

☻TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!