Jokes

Calling with pet names

A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.

His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."

The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name. 

Fathers intelligence

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied, "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine." 

WHAT A DREAM

Wife: I dreamed you gave me $100 for summer clothes last night. You wouldn�t spoil that dream, would you, Dear? Husband: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $100. 

Control over

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount
of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, Well, what about
you, what sort of control do you have over your wife.
The third fellow says I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees
The first two guys were amazed. What happened then? they asked. She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'.