RSS Feed (xml)>Ramu : I've just become a member of Rotract Club.
> Somu : public member or private?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be
> wrong?
> Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on these 500 rupees to Suthi..?
> Bull : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by value or pass by
> reference.
> PS : ???!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...
> Somu : how do u say that?
> Ramu : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ramu : shhhh...I think the SW Engg who is sitting in the next cabin must be a farmer before ...
> Somu : How do u know...?
> Ramu : he asked me today that is there a way to cultivate the bit fields..!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Computer : Please sit over the hard disk to compress the files!
> Computer : please pour Engine oil in the floppy drive to enhance the performance of Search Engine.
> Ramu : why people are beating that SW engg black and blue?
> Somu : it seems, he asked one of them that whether "vante mataram" is new kind of RAM in the market!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive..
> Somu : How do u say that?
> Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin Sea.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ramu : Hey.... whats time now?
> Somu : System time or local time...??
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting up!
> Somu : may be, its internal buses are on strike.. check out!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ramu : (while browsing the TV) what is this? I have heard of Star Sports, Star Movies and Star Plus. Whats this Star Equals??? Is it a new Star Channel?
> Somu : No. = operator has been overloaded in Star Channel.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Geetha : I think that SW Engg is very naive..
> Seetha : how do u say that?
> Geetha : He believes "Rascal" is a new version of Pascal!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramesh : Hey.. u know.. Micorsoft Visual C++ 5.0 has got everything...
> The Developer Studio can really do magic...
> Umesh : Can we use that to develop the photo-negatives?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : why are u wiping ur terminal very often with a cloth?
> Somu : clear command is not working properly for my terminal. that's why?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Babu : yesterday I bought a new TV whose terminal is compatible with computer... but its audio portion is not at all working :-
> Gopu : may be its compatible only with dumb terminals???
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Vani : We have shifted our home to Malleswaram now..
> Soni : right shift or left shift??
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kannamma : do u have Design Specs for brinjal sambar?
> Ponnamma : u mean recipe..?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord yaar. He's harassing me too much.
> Somu : What case? Upper Case or Lower Case or.......
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Vanish : Hey.. why is that sardaarji inserting a cover into the floppy drive?
> Bull : He wants to send an e-mail it seems!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Software DT in Heaven
> Ramu : hey.. I couldn't send a mail to Hell today... it says mail "demon" not running...
> Somu : ur case is better.. for me, it says "ghost not reachable" and bounces back!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> SOFTWARE HUSBAND
> Husband : ( Returning late form work ) "Good evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
> Wife : Have you brought the ring ?
> Husband : Bad command or filename.
> Wife : But I told you in the morn...
> Husband : Erroneous syntax.
> Wife : What about my new blouse ?
> Husband : Variable not found ...
> Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
> Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied ...
> Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny ?
> Husband : Too many parameters. Abort!...
> Wife : It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you.
> Husband : Data type mismatch.
> Wife : You are a useless nut.
> Husband : Default Parameter.
> Wife : What about your Salary ?
> Husband : Access denied. File in use...
> Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?
> Husband : System unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot
============================================================================================
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he
is lost. He
reduces height and spots a man down below. He
lowers the balloon
further and shouts, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I
promised my friend I
would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know
where I am.'
The man below says, 'Yes. You are in a hot air
balloon,
hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You
are between 40 and
42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60
degrees West longitude.'
'You must be a programmer,' says the balloonist.
'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have
told me is
technically correct, but I have no idea what to
make of your
information, and the fact is I am still lost.'
The man below says, 'You must be a project manager
'I am,' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you
know?'
'Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you
are, or where
you are going. You have made a promise which you
have no idea how to
keep,and you expect someone to solve your problem.'
=================================================================================
The professor of a university challenged his students with
this question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A student
answered bravely, "Yes, he did".
The professor then asked, "If God created everything, then he created
evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our own actions), so God is evil.
The student couldn't respond to that statement causing the professor to
conclude that he had "proved" that "belief in God" was a fairy tale, and
therefore worthless.
Another student raised his hand and asked the professor, "May I pose a
question? " "Of course" answered the professor.
The young student stood up and asked : "Professor does Cold exists?"
The professor answered, "What kind of question is that?...Of course the
cold exists... haven't you ever been cold?"
The young ! student answered, "In fact sir, Cold does not exist. According
to the laws of Physics, what we consider cold, in fact is the absence of
heat. Anything is able to be studied as long as it transmits energy
(heat). Absolute Zero is the total absence of heat, but cold does not
exist. What we have done is create a term to describe how we feel if we
don't have body heat or we are not hot."
"And, does Dark exist?", he continued. The professor answered "Of course". This time the student responded, "Again
you're wrong,Sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in fact simply the absence of light.Light can be studied, darkness can not. Darkness cannot be broken down. A simple ray of light tears the
darkness and illuminates the surface where the light beam finishes. Dark is a term that we humans
have created to describe what happens when there's lack of light."
Finally, the student asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?" The profes! sor replied, "Of course it exists, as I
mentioned at the beginning, we see violations, crimes and violence anywhere in the world, and those things are evil."
The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist. Just as in the previous cases, Evil is a term which man has created
to describe the result of the absence of God's presence in the hearts of man.
After this, the professor bowed down his head, and didn't answer back.
The young man's name was ALBERT EINSTEIN.
====================================================================================
Very Inspiring and touching ....
A few weeks ago NIMH (National Institute of Mentally Handicapped , Hyderabad, INDIA) had conducted a sports meet for all the Physically & mentally handicapped children at National Stadium Hyderabad. In one race.., Nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back......every one of them. One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, "This will make it better." Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story. Why?? Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course. If you pass this on, we may be able to change our hearts as well as someone else's. "A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle" Please tell others about it - at least to the people who will understand the meaning of the message.
> Somu : public member or private?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be
> wrong?
> Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on these 500 rupees to Suthi..?
> Bull : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by value or pass by
> reference.
> PS : ???!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...
> Somu : how do u say that?
> Ramu : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ramu : shhhh...I think the SW Engg who is sitting in the next cabin must be a farmer before ...
> Somu : How do u know...?
> Ramu : he asked me today that is there a way to cultivate the bit fields..!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Computer : Please sit over the hard disk to compress the files!
> Computer : please pour Engine oil in the floppy drive to enhance the performance of Search Engine.
> Ramu : why people are beating that SW engg black and blue?
> Somu : it seems, he asked one of them that whether "vante mataram" is new kind of RAM in the market!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive..
> Somu : How do u say that?
> Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin Sea.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ramu : Hey.... whats time now?
> Somu : System time or local time...??
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting up!
> Somu : may be, its internal buses are on strike.. check out!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ramu : (while browsing the TV) what is this? I have heard of Star Sports, Star Movies and Star Plus. Whats this Star Equals??? Is it a new Star Channel?
> Somu : No. = operator has been overloaded in Star Channel.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Geetha : I think that SW Engg is very naive..
> Seetha : how do u say that?
> Geetha : He believes "Rascal" is a new version of Pascal!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramesh : Hey.. u know.. Micorsoft Visual C++ 5.0 has got everything...
> The Developer Studio can really do magic...
> Umesh : Can we use that to develop the photo-negatives?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : why are u wiping ur terminal very often with a cloth?
> Somu : clear command is not working properly for my terminal. that's why?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Babu : yesterday I bought a new TV whose terminal is compatible with computer... but its audio portion is not at all working :-
> Gopu : may be its compatible only with dumb terminals???
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Vani : We have shifted our home to Malleswaram now..
> Soni : right shift or left shift??
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kannamma : do u have Design Specs for brinjal sambar?
> Ponnamma : u mean recipe..?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord yaar. He's harassing me too much.
> Somu : What case? Upper Case or Lower Case or.......
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Vanish : Hey.. why is that sardaarji inserting a cover into the floppy drive?
> Bull : He wants to send an e-mail it seems!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Software DT in Heaven
> Ramu : hey.. I couldn't send a mail to Hell today... it says mail "demon" not running...
> Somu : ur case is better.. for me, it says "ghost not reachable" and bounces back!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> SOFTWARE HUSBAND
> Husband : ( Returning late form work ) "Good evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
> Wife : Have you brought the ring ?
> Husband : Bad command or filename.
> Wife : But I told you in the morn...
> Husband : Erroneous syntax.
> Wife : What about my new blouse ?
> Husband : Variable not found ...
> Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
> Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied ...
> Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny ?
> Husband : Too many parameters. Abort!...
> Wife : It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you.
> Husband : Data type mismatch.
> Wife : You are a useless nut.
> Husband : Default Parameter.
> Wife : What about your Salary ?
> Husband : Access denied. File in use...
> Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?
> Husband : System unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot
============================================================================================
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he
is lost. He
reduces height and spots a man down below. He
lowers the balloon
further and shouts, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I
promised my friend I
would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know
where I am.'
The man below says, 'Yes. You are in a hot air
balloon,
hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You
are between 40 and
42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60
degrees West longitude.'
'You must be a programmer,' says the balloonist.
'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have
told me is
technically correct, but I have no idea what to
make of your
information, and the fact is I am still lost.'
The man below says, 'You must be a project manager
'I am,' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you
know?'
'Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you
are, or where
you are going. You have made a promise which you
have no idea how to
keep,and you expect someone to solve your problem.'
=================================================================================
The professor of a university challenged his students with
this question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A student
answered bravely, "Yes, he did".
The professor then asked, "If God created everything, then he created
evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our own actions), so God is evil.
The student couldn't respond to that statement causing the professor to
conclude that he had "proved" that "belief in God" was a fairy tale, and
therefore worthless.
Another student raised his hand and asked the professor, "May I pose a
question? " "Of course" answered the professor.
The young student stood up and asked : "Professor does Cold exists?"
The professor answered, "What kind of question is that?...Of course the
cold exists... haven't you ever been cold?"
The young ! student answered, "In fact sir, Cold does not exist. According
to the laws of Physics, what we consider cold, in fact is the absence of
heat. Anything is able to be studied as long as it transmits energy
(heat). Absolute Zero is the total absence of heat, but cold does not
exist. What we have done is create a term to describe how we feel if we
don't have body heat or we are not hot."
"And, does Dark exist?", he continued. The professor answered "Of course". This time the student responded, "Again
you're wrong,Sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in fact simply the absence of light.Light can be studied, darkness can not. Darkness cannot be broken down. A simple ray of light tears the
darkness and illuminates the surface where the light beam finishes. Dark is a term that we humans
have created to describe what happens when there's lack of light."
Finally, the student asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?" The profes! sor replied, "Of course it exists, as I
mentioned at the beginning, we see violations, crimes and violence anywhere in the world, and those things are evil."
The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist. Just as in the previous cases, Evil is a term which man has created
to describe the result of the absence of God's presence in the hearts of man.
After this, the professor bowed down his head, and didn't answer back.
The young man's name was ALBERT EINSTEIN.
====================================================================================
Very Inspiring and touching ....
A few weeks ago NIMH (National Institute of Mentally Handicapped , Hyderabad, INDIA) had conducted a sports meet for all the Physically & mentally handicapped children at National Stadium Hyderabad. In one race.., Nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back......every one of them. One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, "This will make it better." Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story. Why?? Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course. If you pass this on, we may be able to change our hearts as well as someone else's. "A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle" Please tell others about it - at least to the people who will understand the meaning of the message.
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